October 17, 2020

Dancing Through The Cosmo

California is a whimsical place. The air here smells sweet and earthy, just like herbs left out to dry. It is my mission this year to figure out which local plant gives off that fragrance. The air is so dry. On hot days it feels like the warm burst of air when you open a hot dryer, on cooler days   It feels like a dry house in winter. Everything rattles in the breeze because all the plants have gone through summer with minimal water. It might be fall, but the trees are only losing leaves to the dry heat. 

But I love it, especially the coolness of the night. I open my window and I am met with the freshness of the air, and the sound of my wind chimes being knocked about by the breeze. I look out to see my neighborhood scattered with lights and street lamps that add a warm glow. It brings contentment to my soul. The night is one of my favorite times to be awake because everything is so different with the disappearance of the sun. 

Here is my pondering on the the matter:


Life is born out of these moments.

The silence and the waning light. 

Darkness consumes the reality that ensnares us and encapsulates our every moment. 

We are left frozen in the ‘in between’. 

The in between is the go between, between the pain and the dreams that leave us morbid and spent. 

Just as the earth and the universe are separated by a minuscule sky, so is the go between of our lives. 

We are desperate for something that is a whole lot of nothing. 

If we peer into the nothing, we find something that wasn’t there before. 

In the stasis of our minds we find perplexity of thought. 

Why am I here? 

Who am I? 

What is reality? 

In the dark the questions swirl through our minds, like galaxies. 

Endless galaxies, that form, shift, and transform. 

They are eventually consumed by dying stars. 

That is the in between. 

Our thoughts are absorbed into the dark until we become one with the night. 

All that is left is the steady breathing of our breath. 

In and out. 

And then in a stunning explosion thoughts consume the mind and the process starts again. 

Why am I here? 

Who am I? 

What is reality? 

Between these processes are where nations are conquered, discoveries made, and civilizations are born. 

The pounding resounding in my head is the sweet lullaby that nurtures me into original thought.

But not unto sleep, but to self discovery, self understanding, and self revelation. 

These leave me more confused than when I started. 

For with each answer there are a multitude of new questions to ask. 

We desire sleep, but don’t disregard the in between. 

It is there that we might discover the mysteries of the universe. 

Through the dark night we see ourselves. 

My mind runs a race through the cosmos in an effort to catch every passing thought. 

Shadows lend a backdrop to the in between. 

Ever increasing thoughts relapse into reruns that shape reality. 

I find Him there…

In the go between and reruns.

I find Him there in the dark. 

We dance to the tune of ever clashing thoughts in my head. 

The stars in His eyes light up the silence with an ever resounding echo of satisfaction. 

The in between thins the age of separation as an ethereal night dawns. 

Deception fades with the reasonableness of the day. 

The dark brings a clarity to the truth of Him. 

He embraces the turmoil of my thoughts with the stillness of the in between. 

I put you here. You are mine. I am reality. 


That’s all folks. From me to you,

-Emily Jacobsen 


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