April 17, 2020

Settling in the Dust

One early morning a few weeks ago, I was on my way to work. In my morning daze of being half asleep, my mind wondered to the great steps of moving to California.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to stay here and have a normal life” I thought to myself as I drove down the highway. I was lost in a dream of working a 9-5 job and living an inconsequential life. I was lulled by the idea of settling and complacency.

There are those who are called to work a 9-5 job and live the American dream type life, I’m not saying I have anything against that. But that has never been my ideal life. As a child, I have always craved adventure and an abnormal life. Something beyond the ordinary. To be caught in such a daydream , was out of my character. On my drive to work that day, it was like I woke up out of that dream of complacency that I had settled into. God works in mysterious ways and has a sense of humor. I would imagine He got a kick out of encountering me in the morning before work. (I AM NOT a morning person) I was reminded of my fifteen year old self, burning with passion and ready to take on the world. She was a truer version of who I was created to be then this person I felt myself to be in that moment. I felt betrayal in my heart. In this time with the Lord, all these things were flooding out, and I jotted them down as quickly as I could before I went into work that day. This was the cry of my heart:

Where is the passion? Has my adolescent heart been exchanged for the clockwork schedule of adulthood? Instead of dreams I have settled into complacency that comes with the accumulation of years. Does all hope of new discovery die with experience? Whimsy and fancy of childhood had been abandoned in the name of survival. But doesn’t that mean I’m already dead? I feel the hollow ache inside. With the beating of my heart, it reminds me of my own cowardice. Am I satiated with settling? Where did the passion go? Oh I used to dream, nothing was unattainable. Now the slightest suggestion of change has me quaking with fear for the future. How? What if? FAILURE. It is time to wake up. Revive the passion. Be reborn. I will not give in to the hum drum of the average life. I will not slip into complacency until there is nothing left but a couch and a TV tray. I refuse to give in to my own cowardice. Come back to me my true self. For you were already braver and stronger than I could never hope to be.

This is a call to dream. To revive those passions you have lost inside yourself. I am not saying to abandon all and throw the baby out with the bath water. But where can you live extraordinarily in the ordinary? Integrity, responsibility, and stability are all important things. But not at the cost of the dreams God has placed inside you. How often do we settle for what is known instead of stepping into a new dream? How many times do our dreams fall short because we don’t believe in them? God is creative, strong, all knowing, and a infinite number of other amazing things. It is safe to dream with Him.

Prophecy is one way God speaks to us. It may be that God is directly prophesying to you through a situation, or through another person. But it is often said that prophecy is only one outcome. We have to step into that prophecy, agree with it, and walk it out. God won’t force us to do something we don’t want to do. We have to partner with Him to see our dreams come to fruition.

All this being said, I want to live a full life with God. We have all eternity with God, but only a limited number of years in this part of life to live the dreams we have. What’s the worst that could happen? Death? Ruin? Suffering? It is all but a moment compared to eternity knowing that you went after life with vigor and passion for the Lord and the dreams He has placed inside of you.

Bottom line… Don’t be afraid to dream, don’t settle, keep the vision with God, and never forget that God has your back.

In the words of Eames from the movie Inception “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger darling”

From me to you,

-Emily Jacobsen


1 thought on “Settling in the Dust

  1. Love this Emily!! I’m sure this is a true experience for many, including me. Your writing is gifted and your true self is on her way! ❤️

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