February 12, 2021

Pain is in the Past, Right?

Time heals all wounds. Or does it?  Culture is so steeped in this concept. With the passing of time pain fades and heals. You forgive, forget, and move on. But where does all the pain go? Does it evaporate into thin air?  We live these lives taught to move on and be happy. “Don’t let the past define you!” Sometimes forgetting and moving on, ensnares you in the very thing that you are supposed to be getting free from. The idea of “Stay Positive!” and “Be Happy!” has raped society of the chance to actually feel and heal. God gave us emotions. That means all the emotions that are put…

August 7, 2020

The Last Goodbye

I feel the pain, will my heart stop beating? Sometimes it feels that way.  Goodbyes, why do they have to be a fundamental part of life? Every trip that I have come back from, every transition I have experienced, has left me with a goodbye on my tongue. I wish for nothing more than to spit it out.  Every missions trip has ended in tears for me. I grow attached and I long for those people and places. It has been over three years since I have left Cambodia… My heart feels physical pain every time I remember the friends and family I left behind, so far away from me….

July 10, 2020

Sometimes Joy Sucks

“Joy is a sacrifice…there is joy in the sacrifice. There is joy in the suffering. Because it is in the suffering that we find out what is real. When we test the limits and can bend no more under the pressure of the pain. God meets us there. There is an ugly encounter with the truth of reality. We can choose to accept it and embrace it. Or we snap. If the latter is chosen then all is folly. But the former brings us dependence on God. That dependence leads to an unearthly joy that is chosen and not felt in the midst of the pain. To choose joy is…