Hello All. Many things have been happening this summer, and it is finally time for an update. It is with great joy that I write this post.
All summer I have been wrestling with the Lord when it comes to my destiny. I felt a lot like Jacob in the Bible, as he wrestled with an angel. It has been a time of feeling directionless. Of course my main comfort has been the Lord, and knowing that He has a plan. Sometimes I wish He would divulge His ideas sooner rather than later though. I was accepted into BSSM Second Year in early June. At the time, I was sure that meant that I was going back. But as the initial euphoria wore off, I found myself doubting. It came to a point that I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go back.
Isn’t it interesting how tumultuous our lives are if we let ourselves be run by our emotions? I am constantly learning how to lean on the greater reality of God, and not on my own feelings. Through the listless drifting of my emotions this summer, I have learned to drive deeper into my only true anchor. Jesus is truly the only firm foundation. I also find it funny how simple life really is when we rely on Jesus, and how difficult I find it to live simply. My natural inclination is to overcomplicate things and get lost in the weeds.
This week the Lord told me to live a simple life, and all difficult things will work themselves out. (My paraphrase, not a direct quote since I forgot to write it down) This doesn’t necessarily mean living a low key life. It means finding simplicity in every moment and difficult situation. Oftentimes, I find that God has the simplest resolutions to the most difficult problems.
For the majority of the summer, I feel that there has been a veil in front of my face. All I could see is what was directly in front of me. Anybody who knows me well knows that I hate that. Honestly, I felt suffocated and penned in. It is in those situations though, that my capacity increases and I am able to cling to the Lord. I am thankful for those moments no matter how uncomfortable they make me. I am more thankful when they are over.
The veil has been lifted! I know what is coming next. I have officially decided to return to Redding for Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry Second Year. Many pieces have played into this decision but it has been confirmed time and time again.
I was at a prayer event in early June and ran into fellow BSSM first year students. I know God’s family is a small world, but what are the odds of running into two students out of six hundred at a prayer event in North Carolina? I took that as confirmation.
Another deciding factor was the finances. My faith continually grows in this area but it is a real thing that I need to see breakthrough in when it comes to these decisions. The decision to return was confirmed when a family that I am close with gave me a check to cover my whole second year tuition. I was literally floored when I found out. God is so good, and I am thankful that I have those in my life who listen closely to His prompting. I am still in awe that my tuition is already paid off. The family told me that they were planning on doing this since before I graduated First Year. I share that fact to say that God already had provision set up for next year before I even knew how I was going to pay rent for that month. Now I rely on God’s word as the breakthrough and not what I see with my eyes. He clicks the pieces together every time.
I am giddy at the idea of returning to Redding and to continue in Second Year. I have a special place in my heart for Virginia, but California feels like home for this season. I am currently in search of housing. Please pray that I find the right house to live in this year.
I will release another blog in a couple of weeks detailing more about Second Year and the process of moving back. Guys, I’m going home to Redding in six weeks. Don’t tell me that God isn’t good.
From me to you,